A Crown of Beauty, instead of Ashes

            I thought of blogging on the lesson 6, we're studying in our Women's Bible study on Beth Moore's book, Breaking free. Last week lesson was so intense and memory provoking that I could pr feel the heaviness of the subjects pressing on my back to curve down. Yes, it dealt with child abuse, betrayal and loss which many women had faced in their lives and how the severity of it had crippled them and put them in captivity. I could almost touch the blackend nature of the subject hanging over my head as I sat and studied the lesson.

          But this week's lesson brushes the darkened picture with a  lighter paint that we come to see the silver lining of hope breaking through. Today's lesson talks about honor, to be a bride, to be beautifu, fruitful and to live happily ever after. Aren't these the four things every child born as a girl ever dreamed of whether she was born to a simple farmer living in a small plot of farmland or to a king living in a huge palace with multitude of servants in attendance. It's ever girl's dream and would remain to be the same for ever girl to born in this earth. Why? Because that's how we are wired up,longing to look beautiful, be a happy wife and have lovely and well behaved children and to live happily ever after. However, only a handful are blessed to have the life they dreamed of while some end up having almost the opposite to what they had dreamed of and in between are those who get part of the dreams come through.

The lesson start with the verse, Isaiah61:3 with the phrase; " to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes." to convey how God our creator desires to crown us with beauty, even though circumstances may have covered our head with ashes. Beth Moore takes us through the story of Tamara, the daughter of King David in 2 Samuel 13:19 where she was raped by her own brother Ammon and she ended up living in seclusion as a desolate woman. You don't need to end up as Tamara even if the same fate had fallen on you, if you're in Christ, says the author.

Today's society favors a non-display of emotions even at  funerals. Squelching emotions only stores them in explosive containers, Beth writes. In Biblical times, men and women practiced putting on sackcloth and ashes as they mourned losses or while repenting before God. Satan waits for an opportunity to hammer the victims of abuse with guilt and telling them they'd never regain their honor and dignity. Beth, herself who had undergone sexual abuse as a child knows the weight of guilt and condemnation and how it could turn any person into a captive for some addiction or behaviour for life. But her life is a great example of how God can make beauty out of ashes. She's God's trophy on display. Joyce Meyer who was abused by her own father until she left home at age 16 or 18 is a very good example of what Christ can do with someone who was destroyed and left to be trampled by the world. He stoops down, picks them up, wipes the tear bathed face, forgive them in His grace, bind their wounds and lift them up to be beautiful and to be used for His glory. No one else can ever do what He does and no one else could love anyone like him at all.

Then she talks about being the bride. Though every girl dreams of becoming a bride, not everyone end up being a bride. So many remain unmarried for some reason or another. Many women feel unfulfilled as a single person. They don't feel whole without a husband or man in her life. Not so, says Beth. Though it's natural to feel that way because the world that we live in say so, if we  are destined to be single, (some women are called to be so0 consider that to be a blessing for in that way you can fully devote your self to the Lord. Whether we are single or married, if we are devoted to Christ, He see us as His bride. He's truly our lover of our soul and bridegroom for eternity. Like the bride prepares herself for the groom bathing in fragrant water, let us His brides prepare us bathing in holiness, prayer and humility. A loving bride is willing to go where the groom leads even it seem like wilderness, but if she trusts him, she would know he'll never abandon her. Not all the places he pitches his tent may be favorable in your estimation, sometimes it makes you so uncomfortable and lonely you just want to flee. But you stay, because you know He'd come in search of you even when you leave. Once you're His, He wouldn't want to lose you, so He gets a good grip of you with His nail pierced hand.

Day 3, is about being beautiful. Find a girl who never wanted to be beautiful. The longing is drenched in the air we breathe and the sweat we perspire. If take a count of the number of women enrolled in a fitness class and those walk in and out of hair salons, beauty parlor and designer boutiques, you don't need to be an analyst to tell what their prime aim in life is. To be beautiful. Especially in today's culture and in North America, anyone who don't look beautiful is considered not in the in-group. The truth is not all are born beautiful to look at. I'm not. Are you? I'm short, on the plump side than on the slim side, lazy -eyed, round faced and curly haired. By now, you must have discarded my profile into the garbage crossing out my name for someone beautiful. But I've a husband who loves me and thinks I'm beautiful and two precious daughter who think I'm very beautiful. No they're neither blind nor near sighted. Their love for me makes me beautiful for them. But I was beautiful in so many ways. So are you. Never , never believe anyone saying you that you aren't beautiful and live your life feeling unattractive. Jesus sees you and me beautiful. That's all matters. We need to see us as He sees us. He's more interested in the inner beauty than the outer beauty, the world craves for. So, it's our duty to make our innerself beautiful and the Bible give us beauty tips on it. Christ has washed us clean. So, let us beautify us with His grace and become kind, compassionate, gentle, patient and loving to make ourself beautiful for His glory. The inner beauty is sure to seep through the skin and would add a glow to make our face beautiful too. So, be blessed you who are in Him to be called beautiful and be His bride.

Being fruitful was the next day's lesson. Fruitful means in the Bible to have children. Without doubt, every girl dreams of becoming a mother one day. This mother -to- be instinct is seen even in the tender years of a girls life, when she plays with a doll, dressing it up in beautiful mom stitched or store bought doll dresses, rocks the doll to sleep, bathes and rolls away the doll in a stroller with her mom beside. So when a woman find herself barren, she is crushed in sadness. In the olden days, even now in some countries, a barren woman is looked down and is made an object to be criticized by family and neigbors. Husbands had divorced their wives for this cause alone. She's considered a bad omen in some cultures.

It was told to be a punishment from God even in the scriptures. In Genesis, 30:1-3, when Rachel bothers Jacob to give her a child, he says, "Am I in the place of God who has kept you from having children?" indicating it was God who had closed her womb. There are other incidents in the Bible which tells the same reason. Though I don't understand why God blesses some with children and some without, I do agree with Beth saying Barrenness does not imply sinfulness. God created every life to be fruitful and multiply, but that may not imply in the physical sense in many cases.

Beth writes that it may imply to invest in something that matters and effective. Our disappointment with God for not blessing us with children may be small thinking , she says. Then she goes on to say how her friends though didn't have biological children, they did have spiritual off springs. Those youngsters who are mentored by godly older women become the spiritual children of these women. In that sense, I realize , I too have many spiritual daugters whom I've a close attachment to. Those in my leaders group, writers group whom I try to mentor whenever I can, I count them as my spiritual offsprings. I hope at least some of them consider me as their spiritual mother too. I'm so blesse to have my God placed among so many lovely and Christian women from whom I too learn so many things. It's a symbiotic growth , I suppose.

Finally, we come to the part-to live Happily Ever After. Who doesn't ever want that? That's every girl and woman's final goal. God's surpassing love can make anyone overcome even the devastating challenges in life. Joni Ereckson overcame her paralysis and became a spoke person for paralysed persons; The horrifying stay in Nazi concentration camp didn't keep God surpassing Corrie Ten Boom's dream nor Mother Theresa amidst deep poverty. The world may cause problems, life may bring traumatizing situations, but nothing could keep God from using someone from any such situation for His glory.
Even if we are not having a life we dreamed of, one day we're going to live the life God promised with much joy and celebration bowing down before Him and worshipping Him seated on His throne. That is to live Happily Ever After. It's worth dreaming of that life and working towards that dream!.